They are there for us when we need a boost of motivation. They are a phone call away when we need to cry about our boyfriends. And they will always be down to take a late-night drive with the windows down and the music blasting. A lot of people might think that romantic relationships are hard work and need tedious care. However, friendships are almost the same amount of work and effort! Some of the friendships we experience in our lives are great and thrive off an effort from both parties. However, not every friendship you have is going to be balanced. One-sided friendships, for me, are even worse than a breakup. You can almost immediately notice when someone isn’t putting in the effort that you are. You can text them all day and ask them to hang out frequently, but it will not be enough for them to realize how great of a friend you are. RELATED: 12 Types Of Negative People That Lead To One-Sided, Toxic Friendships Like any relationship we all experience, I can truly say that seeing someone falling out of love with you or not being interested in your life anymore is very heartbreaking. Knowing that anything you try to do or say isn’t enough can have lasting effects that make you question another person’s intention when you meet them. One-sided friendships will leave you feeling betrayed and unimportant. This is nothing we should tolerate under any circumstance! There are certain friends that we may feel as though we desperately need to save because nothing would hurt more than losing these people. Longevity is a huge factor that plays a role in determining whether or not we believe the friendship is salvageable.
If you feel as though you are in a one-sided friendship, you may want to reevaluate the entirety of the friendship and be on the lookout for these five signs you’re in a one-sided friendship.
1. Your friend only messages you when they need a favor.
Cut the cameras, immediately. One of the biggest signs of being in a one-sided friendship is noticing that they only call you when they need a favor. These people might only call you when they need relationship advice or when they need help with how to solve a tricky issue they are facing. This kind of person does not seem to value true friendship and only views you as a shoulder to cry on, a tutor, or an atm machine.
2. You are always making the effort to hang out.
If you’re the only one reaching out to your friend and trying to plan a day to hang, that is another major sign of a one-sided friendship. Your friends should always be eager to see you! Even though you both may have different lives and can be busy most of the time, there is never not time to see each other. Everyone involved in a friendship should make the effort in reaching out to one another. If they do not do this, it might be time to cut ties. RELATED: Why Ending A Friendship Is Sometimes The Only Option
3. Your conversations always revolve around them.
It is completely normal to bounce off each other’s conversations and relate the topic to something you’ve experienced. The problem is when they begin and end every conversation with something about them! In order to maintain a healthy, happy friendship, you both must be interested in each other’s lives and stories. That does not mean you need to hog up the microphone every time you hang out.
4. They cancel plans with you almost every time.
I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes cancel plans on my best friend because I don’t feel like leaving my bed. But I would never flake on her consistently! People who always find a reason to cancel plans on you (no matter the occasion) are not good friends, period. Stay away from these kinds of people!
5. They never thank you.
I sometimes forget to say this to my friends and my family, but that doesn’t mean I do not respect them. If your friend(s) never say thank you after you pick them up or pay for a meal when they forget their wallet at home, that’s a red flag. This friend seems to take a lot of the things you do and say for granted and that is not something you should accept. Do not feel as though all hope is lost in your friendship. If you truly believe that your friend can come to terms with the toxic behavior they exhibit, I think you can truly mend that friendship — especially if this person has been in your life for years. A real friend will notice their mistakes, hold themselves accountable, and make a real change. RELATED: How To Tell If Your Friend Is Actually Busy Or If They’re Avoiding You Destiny Duprey is a writer who covers self-care, love and relationships, and astrology topics.
