Oh, all of you? Every single one of you has your hand raised? Not surprised. While technically no one forces you to stalk all your ex’s social media pages, the draw to do it can certainly be overpowering. You need to know that he’s just as much of a mess as you are. Especially when you’re in the super vulnerable, I’m-gonna-sit-here-and-cry-to-surprise-proposal-videos stage of a breakup. RELATED: How Obsessively Online Stalking My Ex Helped Me Move On Falling into the obsessive status-checking trap is understandable and can happen to the best of us. I’d even argue that social media can make it nearly impossible to move on if the best part of your ex’s new life is constantly being thrown at you via your newsfeed. Like, NO DEREK, we actually don’t want to see any pictures of your trip to Austria or that you can bench 150 now. K? THX. That’s why I, a breakup connoisseur, am an advocate for a complete and total social media split. If you can’t be friends in real life — or let alone be in the same room — then why the eff are you friends on Facebook??? People love to give me BS reasons like they still care about the person and want to see what they’re up to or that deleting their ex will make them look bitter. Well, those reasons are stupid and are actually bad for your health. RELATED: The Scientific Reason We Stalk Our Exes After A Breakup A 2015 study conducted found that a third of people admitted they Facebook-stalked an ex-partner at least once a week, and research has found that those who Facebook stalk their exes are SIX more likely to pursue unwanted intimacy with the ex. Meaning you will post cringe-worthy inside jokes on their wall and/or drop off a pen of theirs you found on your desk because you knew they were slowly dying without it. Tara Marshall, the researcher responsible for backing up the obvious with inarguable facts, said that while social media stalking is usually seen as a harmless response to a breakup, it can actually disrupt the natural process of moving the fuck on. “I found that this sort of surveillance was associated with greater distress over the breakup, protracted longing for an ex-partner, more negative feelings towards and sexual desire for the ex, and lower personal growth,” she wrote in her original post. RELATED: How To Find Out Everything About Your Ex Online Without Getting Caught So please, for the love of whatever you believe in, delete your ex. Off of everything. Chances are he doesn’t deserve your virtual friendship anyway. He didn’t deserve you to begin with. The healing starts with that realization. And with blocking him. Emily Blackwood is a writer who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between.
