According to the man’s post, after succumbing to burnout and quitting her job, his wife now spends most of her day watching television or eating junk food. He further mentions how he “resents” her for it and doesn’t feel like he can “connect” with her. “I feel trapped with a lazy person,” he writes. RELATED: My Husband Ghosted Me — I Haven’t Heard From Him In Months
The husband states how his wife’s “lazy” habits are affecting their relationship.
Because the wife spends her time in front of the TV, she doesn’t help out with organizing or cleaning their new home. “The part that really irks me is that our brand new house is falling into disrepair and filth. She doesn’t really clean very much.” However, talking about those issues mostly ends up in fights or arguments, so the husband thinks it’s better to deal with it in silence. “Whenever I try to mention that I need her to start going through the stuff and cleaning up the clutter that is taking over our home, she gets defensive and we end up fighting. So I’ve learned not to ask about it and just silently deal with it.” He thinks the best way would be to handle everything alone. His wife is so immersed in her world that she has become oblivious to her surroundings. “We are basically just roommates that sometimes eat together,” he writes. RELATED: My Husband Was Irritable And Moody. The Surprising Cause Required More Than Therapy.
The husband also defends his wife and feels “guilty” for his feelings.
He thinks he could also do more around the house but blames his wife’s habits for affecting him. “Admittedly I could do more around the house, too, but I dont feel motivated because I end up doing everything so I get resentful. It’s almost like her laziness is wearing off on me.” But that resentfulness makes him feel “guilty” as he knows his wife is going through a hard time with being unemployed. “Then I feel Guilty for resenting her and not just sucking it up and doing the hard work. But alas I feel alone and that my inactivity is justified.” He then defends her and acknowledges what she has done for him in the past. “To be fair I will mention that my wife did support me for 3 years while I tried to start another business and she worked her ass off to keep the lights on. So she deserves a break.” However, he writes that he has given her enough time to rest and heal. “It’s been 6 months and I thought quitting her job would give her more time to do these things that she’s told me she wants to do. But alas she just sits around, watches TV and eats junk food.”
Reddit users were quick to point out that there’s more going on with his wife than “laziness.”
Many commenters were quick to analyze the situation and mention that the wife might be depressed or may be dealing with some other mental health issues. One user wrote, “I was where your wife is for over a year. Severe depression, I used tv to separate myself from reality. Nothing improved for me until I started therapy. Best of luck my friend, and try to understand she’s not doing it TO you, she is as much of a victim as you are.” Some even provided solutions that could help him and his wife. Another user mentioned, “Talk to your wife and tell her you want to spend more quality time with her and that you miss her. Offer up some suggestions and see what happens.” Another suggested that the husband needs to take care of her because it might be that she doesn’t even know that she has depression. “She has to recognize it herself and make the choice to improve herself. At best you can sit down and have a conversation of genuine concern, offering whatever support she needs.” RELATED: Man Asks If It’s Wrong To Expect His Wife To ‘Be 100% Silent And Shut The Kids Up’ While He Works Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer and an Editorial Intern at YourTango who writes on entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.
