To celebrate, they give gifts to their mother as well as the sibling whose birthday it is, but the 25-year-old sibling had enough when her mother pressured her 16-year-old sister into buying her a $300 necklace on the eldest’s birthday.
Was she wrong for lashing out at her mother for forcing them to give her gifts on their birthdays?
“Every year on every single one of our birthdays, we’re expected to celebrate my mom as well,” said the woman’s post on the subreddit r/AmItheA–hole. “We’ve done it since we were little. It was taught to me as ‘giving thanks for carrying + giving birth to us’.” R/AmItheA–hole, or AITA, is a place for people to bring their woes to a jury of their internet philosopher peers, where they will be judged and rated based on the decisions they made in a certain situation and will likely be given advice on how the aftermath should be treated. The rating system is based on comments that will either read, NTA, which stands for “Not The A–hole,” YTA, which stands for “You’re The A–hole,” NAH, which means “No A–holes Here,” or ESH, which means “Everyone Sucks Here.” RELATED: Woman Unsure How To React After Estranged Father Demands She Share Grandmother’s Inheritance With Him The eldest sibling elaborated on how their matriarchal tradition has developed over the years and has led to their mother seeking out more valuable gifts with a higher monetary value. “As we got older, we’re now expected to get her monetary gifts (and not cards, or homemade stuff),” she wrote in the post. “My youngest brother isn’t expected to give much, but my 16-year-old sister and 18-year-old 2nd brother work so they’re expected to give gifts too.” The problem arose when the 25-year-old’s birthday rolled around and her 16-year-old sister admitted she wanted to get her more, but couldn’t because of their mother’s pressure to get her a certain necklace.
“I asked how much it was, and my sister said it was $300,” she explained. “I honestly lost it on our mom and chewed into her later that afternoon when my mom opened her gifts after me.”
The aftermath led to her getting kicked out and an assortment of extended family members coming to the mother’s rescue — calling the daughter a “POS” for what she did and defending the mother. “It’s been over two weeks and mom won’t answer my calls,” she continued in the conclusion. “She’s been posting on Facebook inspiration quotes about letting go of the toxicity in your life, how blood doesn’t equal family, and how hard it is to be a mother.” RELATED: 10 Biggest Challenges You’ll Face In The First Year Of Motherhood She originally thought she was in the right, but grew unsure about her decision considering everyone was on her mother’s side — fortunately, Reddit reassured her that she was totally in the right. In comments, she reveals that her mother doesn’t hold the same tradition with their grandmother — in other words, their tradition doesn’t extend past their immediate family. A lot of people emphasized how narcissistic the tradition feels, and that if the tradition were to simply show appreciation for their mother going through the struggles of childbirth, then she wouldn’t ask for such expensive gifts. The father is also forced into the tradition but supports it despite not receiving gifts or praise for being a parent to those kids. All in all, the reassurance that was given by the community helped open the poster’s eyes, saying “I’m going to try to find a therapist so I can unload all this f-ckery.” RELATED: Grieving Mom Looks For Advice After Family Accuse Her Of Making ‘A Scene’ At Son’s Funeral By Confronting Sister-In-Law Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.
