Well, I’ve got some news for you: You need to stop holding a candle for this man, and you need to stop this. I’ve been in your position of having a crush that’s unrequited and know it’s not enviable. I know that it’s not easy to just walk away from someone you feel so passionately about, and I know what it’s like to be that person’s girlfriend, too. All in all, the only one who could possibly enjoy this all is the guy, and that only happens if he’s a jerk. RELATED: 10 Signs You’re Falling For Him (Even Though You Swore You Wouldn’t) There are so many reasons and signs he doesn’t like you. You need to just walk away from this situation. I just want to give you a heads up about all the reasons you’re better than this. So, here goes.
Here are 10 reasons you need to stop holding out for the guy who has a girlfriend, because he doesn’t like you.
1. If he actually liked you, he’d be dating you, not her.
I’ve seen men risk everything — their homes, livelihoods and reputations — to date a woman. We’ve all heard about guys who suddenly jumped ship from decades-strong relationships to chase a girl who they pined for. The fact is that if he liked you and wanted you, he’d have dumped her for you, and he’d have done it without too much pressure from you.
2. You’re making yourself look bad.
If you think that no one is noticing you holding out for this guy, you’re wrong. People are noticing, and it’s sad. They are feeling sorry for you and your situation. That’s just not cool.
3. You’re driving away guys who are really interested in you, and you’re doing it in the worst way possible.
Trust me when I say that guys can tell when they’re your second choice. It hurts them just as much as knowing he’s with someone else hurts you. It doesn’t take too much to see why they might end up getting burnt out and leaving. RELATED: 20 Things A Guy Will Never Do If He Sees A Future With You
4. You’re wasting your time.
We only have about 80 years on this god-forsaken rock to do what we want to do. Don’t you think you could be using your time in a better way? There are guys who are better than him out there.
5. You also are making things awkward between him and his girlfriend.
This is bad on two fronts, even if you think it will eventually drive him into your arms. First off, this is totally against girl code and other women will want to avoid you. They also will warn their boyfriends against you, and that will turn into a reputation-ruining chain reaction that will push everyone away from you. Second, there are few things more unattractive than a girl who has no self-awareness about her behavior, and that’s exactly what you’re looking like to him.
6. If you become the other woman, you’ll never be able to look at him the same way.
Do you really want to be with a guy who will cheat on his girlfriend with you? Even if he leaves her for you, it’s not a good sign for the future of your relationship.
7. You’re setting yourself up for failure with him.
By just holding out while he’s dating other people, you’re telling him that it’s okay to treat you like a doormat, an option, and a distraction. This lack of self-respect will ruin your chances of him respecting you in the long run, even if you think he’s above that. RELATED: 15 Subtle Signs He’s Not Into You (And Why)
8. The only thing that holding out for a taken man guarantees is more hurt for you.
Think about it. At best, he’ll finish up with this girl and move on to you. That sounds great, but you’ll always wonder why he had to wait until the moment he did to leave her. It will cause resentment, and he’ll also see you as more of an option than a necessity. In the end, your relationship with him will deteriorate. At worst, you’ll be wasting time pining away for a man who doesn’t even like you. It’s a lose-lose situation.
9. There’s a good chance that the guy you like is leading you on for his own personal validation, and that’s not cool.
Is that what you want to be to him? A tool for his own ego-stroking? Because that’s what he’s likely treating you as.
10. No one deserves to be forced to wait for someone like that.
Come on, now. Doing this to yourself is downright cruel. And a guy who is okay with this kind of behavior isn’t a catch. Stop allowing this to happen, and start choosing yourself for a change. You deserve better. You know you do. So stop, for your own sake, okay? RELATED: How To Get Over The Crushing Pain Of Unrequited Love Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.
