28-year-old Hailey Custer and her husband Travis Bowling had been married for 6 years and had three children together. While still happily married, Custer had been a support system for her best friend and had helped her throughout her pregnancy. She had even helped deliver the baby and was a “father figure” for the infant. “In the hospital, before I found out, I stepped into that father figure role. I was there for her every step of the way. Even in the hospital, I wore the daddy wrist band, when she got her epidural, she laid on me. I actually gave the baby her first bath,” Custer says.
When her best friend’s baby was born, she realized her husband was the father.
A few days after the baby was born, Custer noticed a birth defect on the baby’s neck when she was bathing the baby. “I was changing her daughter and I noticed that she had what we call the Bowling bumps, and several of his other children have it as well, so I knew exactly that that baby was my husbands,” she said. RELATED: Jilted Bride Sues Cheating Ex-Fiancé For Cost Of Canceled Wedding Bowling and one of her children has the same birth defect. “I’m very familiar with [the hereditary defect] because my older son has it - it’s an extra piece of cartilage that grows out of the side of his neck,” Custer explains. The revelation had come as a surprise to Custer but when she confronted her best friend about it, her guilt confirmed everything. Custer felt betrayed to realize her husband had been cheating on her with her best friend. “When I found out my friend was standing next to me, I looked at her and you could just tell. She couldn’t say anything, she just dropped her head and looked to the floor, and I just knew.”
Custer still helped her and forgave her friend.
Instead of looking at the situation as a wife, she made decisions from a mother’s perspective. Despite being upset with her best friend, Custer decided to forgive her and help her out for the sake of the baby and the kids. “I kept thinking of my kids, at the end of the day that is their blood sibling and I’m not going to be the one who causes harm to that child. So, she ended up staying with us.” RELATED: How To Forgive A Cheater (& Whether Or Not You Should) Custer wanted to keep a mutual relationship with her now ex-husband as well because they have children together. “There is no hate in my heart for either party. My ex-husband and me have three children together so I have to co-parent with him. And at the end of the day, my now ex-best friend’s daughter is my children’s sister. So I don’t hold any hate in my heart.” Due to this disclosure, Custer also found out that this wasn’t the first time Bowling had cheated on her. He had affairs with 30 other women and two kids from two of the women throughout their marriage. Custer wanted to help her best friend also because she was a drug addict and Custer, herself is a recovering addict. As Custer had been through the same thing, she understood her best friend’s situation and wanted to make things easier for her. “When I found out my friend was using and she found out she was pregnant, I wanted to do what was right and make sure that she was safe and taken care of.” RELATED: An Open Letter To My Best Friend, The Mistress Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer and an Editorial Intern at YourTango who writes on entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.
